


To Want to Live

by SanguineHope



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Love, Marriage, Pain, Sad, Sad Fluff, Strength, the mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 13:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4830350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanguineHope/pseuds/SanguineHope





	To Want to Live

Nesira paced back and forth in her private quarters. The anger pulsing against her heart heated her core she couldn’t look at anyone at the moment without disgusted. No, people she didn’t know. When she looked at her friends, her disappointment in herself grazed against her heart. The Inquisitor, their Herald, fraud wasn’t the only word that came to mind. A failure, inevitable death, political disgrace, all the blame at the moment rested on her shoulders. Maybe she should have handled the council differently, but danger rested on the horizon and she sitting around while people died would never be an option. All she wanted to do was help people, being politically correct proved to be a difficult course to take this whole event.

The pain etched through her veins as she gritted her teeth, hissing as it sparked. It seared against her heart as she grabbed her left arm. She found her body crumbling against the ground as she pulled her arm against her stomach. The ancient magic radiated against her body, warming it with uneasy pain cause such torment like her body burned with a permanent branding.

It had been fine for years. No pain, no damage. When she closed the breach, the mark remained stable for years so why acted up now? Was it these ancient ruins, learning about the truth? Was it the ancient elven she fought, and it reacted with pain? Nesira didn’t know but fear crossed her mind at the one thing.

“Nesira,” The cool sweet voice of her husband’s echoed from the door as she looked up. Tears streaked her face as she watched the urgency in his eyes. She realized that she was not the only one with fear, he sensed it as well. He moved over with such speed she hadn’t expected and those powerful arms wrapped around her as she tried to disappear into his chest.

“Cullen, I’m scared.” Nesira wept. She had been so angry with her advisors, but her anger covered up her true emotions. Her fear, her worry, and most of all her concern. So much of the world depended upon her to fix it, yet she didn’t care. And she admitted to herself that she acted selfishly, for once in her life, the world become complete. She had an amazing husband, all her friends were accomplishing beautiful things, she got to see the world brought to peace. Yet here at the Exalted Council gave her heartache. When Dorian told her they would not thank her, she believed him. But to experience it ripped her apart from the inside. She wanted to live happily, and she realized she wouldn’t get the chance.

The end rested just upon the horizon.

Little could be done to stop the pain now, it became a constant burn she had to handle. Her emotional outburst and fear caused her stomach to roll in tight knots and made her queasy. “I’m right here, I told you I would never leave your side and I don’t plan to now,” Cullen spoke softly. She looked up toward him, her eyes glassy from crying. She stared into his golden eyes, ones that always held such confidence and power. All she recognized was the same fear that raced in her mind, daring to tie her down and keep her fearful. But Cullen had the capability to express an emotion others couldn’t.

This man, he embodied everything she needed, wanted, and desired. He held her heart and soul in his hands and never once used them selfishly. He selflessly protected her, with every beat of his heart and kissed her with every ounce of love. She would never be alone, she had been blessed by the Maker with a true lover, her soulmate. They shared their pains, their joys both of theirs, and no matter how few heartbeats she had left, she appreciated she would not be in this alone. He would be there to pick her up if she ever fell.

“Cullen, I don’t want to die!” She exclaimed as she grabbed his shirt tightly and threw her face against his chest. At that moment, all her fears crashed out through her tears as they came down like a waterfall of pain. Cullen’s heart stopped as his arms dropped and pulled her extremely close, their bodies melding together to bring physically comfort in any way possible. His lips pressed against the top of her head in a soft gentle kiss, comforting his wife the best he could. His heart broke with each second as he feared for her, watching the mark spark to life with pain that coursed through her.

Nesira sensed his passion and desire to help, the way he held her allowed her to become more vulnerable, to let all her fears come crashing through. This is what she needed. Her overwhelming weight of emotions needed to be released and he would be there to guide her through it.

Moments turned into minutes as she wept against his chest. Silence filled the air as the crackling of magic echoed in the halls. Finally, she leaned back to look at Cullen. Her make up smeared her face, but none of that mattered to her. She grasped she would lose everything, and she selfishly didn’t want to. She clinged to it, praying to the Maker and Andraste they would allow her to survive.

“Nesira Rutherford, when we got married, I told you I would be there for you, through thick and thin, at any cost, no matter what came our way. Whatever should come our way, you won’t do this alone and if…” His voice trailed off in fear of the inevitable, as Nesira’s heart skip a beat. Her hands gripped his shirt more than she stared into his eyes. She noticed the fear pressed against them, but she also regarded the determination to stay near. “Whatever happens, you will not go through this alone. I don’t care what happens, I’m going with you.”

Her eyes widen as she shook her head. “Cullen, you can’t. What bout the Inquisition, the army, everyone who needs you!” She gasped, a flurry of words in her mind but Cullen’s hand reached up to touch her cheek and had a sad smile on his face.

“You need me more.” His thumb ran along her jaw as she moved her hand to touch his hand. Even though her left hand pulsed with painful magic, she all but ignored it. All she comprehended was the devotion Cullen had for her. She should tell him no, he needed to stay, but she knew that no matter what she said he would stubbornly disagree and demand to go with her. And that precise moment she realized she wouldn’t argue either.

She needed him. As much as a man needed water or food, she needed him with her. Nesira’s strength came from him, and their love would carry them through to the end.

“I won’t ask you to go with me, but if you do, I,” Her voice faltered as he wrapped his arms around her for a hug.

“I will be there the whole way.” He finished, as his hand ran along her hair, holding her as if his own life depended upon it. The love that nestled into their souls pulsed for each other, two halves made whole after years of searching. They would sail this storm together, and no matter what came their way Nesira knew that they would be in it together. No matter how bleak the situation she would finish this and save the council and the rest of Thedas, even if they hated her for it.

Her life thrived on the joy of her friends and Cullen’s love. She wrapped her arms around his waist, clinging to him for dear life and expressing the certainty she learned. The love she had for him would never break whatever came their way. “I love you Cullen, now and forever.” She expressed as Cullen leaned in close. His own heart beating from inside, pressing through his ribcage and displaying how it beated in the recess of passion and healing for them both. “and I love you Nesira. You are my one and only. We’ll get through this, together.” He whispered against her ear, their eyes closed and entangled together with a hug of compassion.


End file.
